In ten years, by my mid-40's, I went from having a successful law practice in New York, to living on the streets in West Florida. All as a direct result of addiction.
I was in and out of recovery. Clinically, I was referred to as a "chronic relapser." I always believed in a "higher power" which to me was God. Yet, until I surrendered to Him, my efforts were, at best, half-measures. They availed me nothing as The Big Book of AA states.
I wanted serenity more than anything. The natural high from it could never be achieved with alcohol and/or drugs. I have that now, and the peace I feel is beautiful.
My path was with a Church of my beliefs and support groups they offered. I try to put God first in every decision and action. If I'm irritable, restless and/or discontent, I seek God. Though I no longer attend AA, it was an awesome start to a wonderful spiritual life.
I wish you all well in your recovery efforts.
Bryon
Daytona Beach, FL